Advice for my Secret Santa

Posted on Sunday 12/11/2016 12:07:08

The main thing is to think of something that is frivolous rather than useful, and which will amuse both me and KCL members when I post a picture of your present in my blog. Things like the pillowcase with a picture of Christy Dutton that Matt bought me. Preferably cheap – I don’t want you to spend a lot. Not that I’m suggesting Christy Dutton is cheap! But you know what I mean. I hope.

Having said that, if you do want to buy something I will actually use, your best bet is a film on DVD or Blu-ray (ideally the latter). I read a lot, but books cover a wide range of specialised preferences, while films are intended to satisfy a much larger audience, so your odds of choosing a film I’ll enjoy are far higher than with a book. If you do go for this, remember I don’t get out, and only have broadcast TV, so I’m very unlikely to have seen a film that’s been released in at least the last two years, probably more like three or four. My tastes are simple. Pretty well any action film that involves a beautiful actress with full, pouting lips wearing a close-fitting top that moulds itself around her full, shapely breasts and her stiffened, erect nipples. You’ve seen Denise Richards in Wild Things? Of course you have!

A low-cost video game either for my PC or my aging Xbox 360 (please note that I do not have an Xbox One) will also be well-received. Ideally a puzzle-adventure or a stealth game rather than a combat-heavy one, but they’re pretty thin on the ground, so I’ll take what I get. Just don’t spend much!

NOTE: Please bear in mind that due to region coding for DVDs, Blu-rays, and some video games, you should order such an item from within the UK, most obviously (you will be able to use your existing Amazon account for any country’s Amazon store). Indeed I recommend you do so whatever you get, as it will save you international shipping fees, filling in a customs label, and a lengthy delivery time.

Remember! Just make sure she’s it’s cheap! May Cthulhu bless you!

  • Evil Fury Says:
    Dude, your girl Christy is looking pretty rough these days. Not sure what's going on with her.

  • Simon Says:
    It must be the drugs. She resorted to them for solace after she found out about Angelina and Adriana and Anne Denise and Kristin and Keira and all the others. I told her there was still a place for her, but you know what some women are like.

  • Evil Fury Says:
    Can you blame her??? Nice going, Simon. Now you've gone and shattered her and WE have to look at her every fucking morning.

  • snow Says:
    I do miss critiquing her clothing on fb.

  • Evil Fury Says:
    You'd have a field day lately.

  • Nightbreed Says:
    I thought for sure you'd have a 4-poster bed, for obvious reasons. No big deal, I mean, you'll simply need a longer rope than before, at least to secure the arms. This is what I get for being 'out of the loop.' Everything changes!
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